Saturday, June 1, 2013

Ms. William's Eye Bleach-Worthy Bra Tale

  We're all adults here, and some of us are lady adults. Well okay, maybe some of you aren't adults yet. I'm hoping you're mature enough to handle bra talk. I'm a lady, I need to wear them from time to time, and I'm sure some of you do too. For some of us, bra shopping is just a skip and a jump to a store of choice. Just close your eyes, run to the bra section, and buy buy buy. For the rest of us, it's kind of like a hit or miss slow crawl into the abyss that I like to call "what the [expletive deleted] is going on here?!" Readers, I have a bra story for you.

  If you don't want to think about ol' pear-shaped Ms. Williams in a bra, I can understand. I've had this body for 27 years, and sometimes I'd rather not think about it. But mother nature made me think about it sometime around 5th grade when these things on my chest decided to show up. Like a goofy girl, I was excited to get them. I was trading info with fellow female classmates around the time our teacher tossed the ol' Sex Education books our way. I didn't care about sex and periods--I wanted hooters.

  One fine day, my grandmother decided to drag me to Kohl's in Ford City to get my first training bra. The things looked like t-shirts, felt like t-shirts, but were cut off with small sew on eyelets at the bottom (aka "lace"). Big whoop. Whatever it was training me for, I wasn't sure if I was going to retain the lesson. A little later, I graduated to the hooked kind. Before I knew it, my aunt was letting me borrow the ones she didn't want anymore. I was 11, it was Summer, and I was fumbling with this front-hook disaster in the back yard by the time I'd reached "fuller potential". THIS is where the trouble started.

  Now, before I write a long story about the history of my boob and bra life that will surely have people who know me pouring bleach in their eyes, I'll get to the point. As I got older and bigger, the search for nice bras and cute bras not only became expensive, but it also became difficult. I couldn't just go to a department store or a chain store to get a bra. If not for stores like Lane Bryant and Just My Size, I'd probably still be in the bra-free protest line I joined about 8 years ago. (Bleaching in 3..2..)

  I know, I know. Gasp. Did I just say I let my puppies run free? I did. Because the bras were too tight, were wired, were uncomfy. When I got tired of getting poked, I ran free as a bird when I could. I wore sports bras and clothes with built in bras. I had ONE bra that fit me just right--a wireless Fruit of the Loom bra from Wal-Mart. No matter what size I THOUGHT was right for me, it seemed as if most bras hated my fat ol' guts. So, I gave up for a long time. I "made do" instead of really looking.

  Well, two weeks ago, I found a darling bra from Lane Bryant. It met all my expectations--It was comfy, it
That's a whole lot of bra.
Good Lord. I just posted my bra on the INTERNET.
was clothing friendly, and WIRELESS. That was most important to me. I cannot stand wires in a bra. I can find support for myself without the wires. However, it was always the cost of the bras that boiled my potato. I will pay a good 40 bucks for some nice pants. 30 bucks for a sassy top. (60 for a pair of bad ass sneakers, but that's because I'm a sneak-a-holic, lol...) But 40 bucks for a bra? No way. The Cotton No-Wire Bra is now my lover and friend. I will be getting her sisters. We're having a big lady bra party.

  Anyway, I needed the support of a good bra. I have shirts I want to wear that I really couldn't without the proper bust support. I have outfits I CAN wear, but, nobody wants to see the unsupported high beams. I wanted to lift myself, dagnabbit! So, I threw caution to the wind and went up a size bigger than my former bra size. (Just in case anyone's considering donating to the bra fund, I'm a lusty, busty 48D. Again, understandable on that eye bleach.)

  I had all the worries of former purchases. I have at least ONE bra that I thought was right for me, but came in the mail and was too tight. Just so you know--even if it fits, a bra that's too tight is no good. DUH, right? Uncomfy for bra purchases in actual stores (unless no one is there o_o), online bra purchases are always hit or miss--usually a great miss. NOT THIS TIME! :-D

  Hot diggety doggone, this bra is the complete and total business. For only $29.50 (or $38.00, depending on size I guess), it is the bra of my dreams. Comfy, supportive, and tank top friendly. I've tested it out on all
So comfy. I swear. This bra is love!
those shirts I've been dying to wear for a long time. No peek-a-boo straps, No constant re-adjustment. When I slap this puppy on, it stays. Good bra. Goood bra. I highly suggest any woman C-cup and above give this bra a shot. Measure yourself first. Or, have someone measure you! Use a Google search and see if your favorite department stores have fittings. Don't give up in the great bra struggle. There's hope, busty lady! Although I'm sad I still haven't been able to find a bra similar to the Fruit of The Loom wireless, I think it's well worth the cash and support to roll with Lane Bryant. Never underestimate the power of goooood support!


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